Woman experiences brutal FOMO after filling Census form out the night before "Census Night."



A Greystanes woman presented to a local medical centre today after she was struck down by the condition "fear of missing out," or FOMO. After being inundated by friends' Facebook statuses maligning the Australian Bureau of Statistics and their handling of "Census night," Jackie Williamson awoke on Wednesday morning to an avalanche of memes she felt no connection to.

After fighting through an hour of work, she was tipped over the edge by water cooler talk about whether non-compliance with the initiative would result in fines to her coworkers.

"I knew I'd be out to dinner on Tuesday night, so I used my log-in and completed my census Monday. No-one was even talking about it until I got home on Tuesday night, and at least 6 friends were commenting on each other's Facebook pages about how the website had crashed and they were all unable to submit their forms."

A NSW Ambulance spokesperson was contacted for comment, and explained the phenomenon is nowhere near as rare as you might think.

"It's not common, but it does happen. In July we had a spike thanks to Pokemon Go, mainly from baby boomers without children who had never encountered the game before. Patients typically present with a drained smartphone battery, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and a sense of loss. It's difficult to treat."

As for Jackie, she's taken steps to ensure this doesn't happen again.

"I've followed the @SBSComedy Twitter account and am notified every time they send out a Tweet. I've also made 'The Shovel' my homepage, so every time my computer starts I'll be connected to the latest."

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